Monday, March 5, 2007

What is Love...

WHAT IS LOVE ?

Passionate love which involves continuously thinking about the loved one and also involves warm sexual feelings and powerful emotional reactions.

Companionate love is having trusting and tender feelings for someone who is close to you.

Now one of the best known theories of love (which means an educated guess that isn't proven fact) is Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love. The three components of the Triangular Theory of Love are:

Passion, the feeling physically aroused and attracted to someone.
Passion is what makes you feel "in love" and is the feeling most associated with love. It also rises quickly and strongly influences and biases your judgment.

Intimacy, the feeling close and connected to someone (developed through sharing and very good communications over time).
Intimacy is what makes you want to share and offer emotional and material support to each other.

Commitment, pledging to your self and each other to strengthen the feelings of love and to actively maintain the relationship.
Commitment is what makes you want to be serious, have a serious relationship and promise to be there for the other person if things get tough.

Now Sternberg also uses his Triangular Theory of Love to answer some of the most commonly asked questions about love:

Is there love at first sight?
This is when we are overwhelmed by passion, without any intimacy or commitment (both of which take time). Sternberg calls this infatuated love, Because there is not intimacy or commitment, infatuated love is fated to fade away.

Why do some people get married after being in love for a very short time?
This is a combination of passion and commitment, but without any intimacy. Sternberg calls this Hollywood love. This is where two people make a commitment to each other based on their passion. Unless intimacy develops over time, this relationship most likely will end.

Can their be love without sex?
Ah yes, companionate love, where intimacy and commitment are present without any sexual passion.

Why doesn't romantic love last?
Passion and intimacy without commitment is Romantic love. When the passion fades, and the intimacy wanes, the relationship ends.

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About Me

'Apabila cinta memanggilmu, ikutilah dia, walau jalannya terjal berliku-liku. Dan apabila sayapnya merangkummu, pasrahlah serta menyerah, walau pedang tersembunyi di sela sayap itu melukaimu. Dan jika dia berbicara kepadamu, percayalah, walau ucapannya membuyarkan mimpimu, bagai angin utara mengobrak-abrik pertamanan. Sebab sebagaimana cinta memahkotaimu, demikuan pula dia menyalibmu. Demi pertumbuhanmu, begitu juga pula demi pemangkasanmu. Sebagaimana dia membumbung, mengecup puncak-puncak ketinggianmu, membelai mesra ranting-ranting terlembut yang bergetar dalam cahaya matahari, demikian pula dia menghunjam ke dasar akarmu, mengguncang-guncangnya dari ikatanmu dengan tanah Demikianlah pekerti Cinta atas diri manusia, supaya kau pahami rahasia hati, dan kesadaran ini menjadikanmu segumpal hati kehidupan. Cinta tidak memberikan apa-apa, kecuali keseluruhan dirinya, utuh penuh. Pun tidak mengambil apa-apa, kecuali dari dirinya sendiri. Cinta tidak memiliki atau pun dimiliki, karena cinta telah cukup untuk cinta.

Have a Good Day

Have a Good Day